Monday, August 31, 2009

what do all thease men have in common?

Mr Burns ........Womanizing plastic hockey player
Affliction LOOOver

ghonnerasty? dont remember this dudes name.......
The THIng they all have in common is They were all combined to become MY DATE last night. ............what a wonderful world. between his ramblings about how great he was in the "sack" and how long it takes him to spike his hair just so. And catching himself in many many lies he had told me the night before, I kinda started to like him....
IN Conclusion ...BABY OTTER needs more therapy


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

mah new boyfriend part tres'

MOM! hey! I was playing on the beeeach! look at me go! anyhoo, I have found the love of my life and am bringing him home for thanksgiving! (even though he does not call it that, he calls it savage hurt my mother from another clucker day)
HERE HE IS! MY emo fuzzie wazzie! make sure you have three pairs of PInk 100 precent cotton sheets.

Monday, August 24, 2009

nuff said

Friday, August 21, 2009

Last night ugh.....last night....

I was PROPOSED this drunk dude. And when I actually pulled a creaperton and said yes, and acted serious, he took back his offer :(
I am great.

THennnn......This guy who used to live in my building approached me.
and I slurred out " sooooore yourree that guy with the big musssllles that used to work out in my gym? I useed to call you musssccley arms in my head when I watchedd your."

So .....TO sum UP my NIGHT: le bebe otter gets too drunk......or not drunk enough......hmmm....something to think about. If I got drunker....i wouldnt remember all the stupid(yet hilarious) things I do.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in the world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things

Monday, August 17, 2009

Adventures of Baby Otter...Saturday night edition....

How can one Explain this saturday......ahhhuuhhh....

So I started out the afternoon at a party like this; except, we were in a pool of foggy soup/ beer piss.
And.....ended up at a party like this
So ..... I was still acting like I was at the first party:LIke this...when I should have been acting like this:so ...basically this was the party in my head;

the night went as so; I went around closing everyone's music like a little prancing beer fairy, and yelling at them to play some sort of jazz/ country hybrid.
"play from your heart",(I yelled) YOur heart and my ORDERS! NOW!

. I did however make friends with the owners dog ....(if you consider "friends" people that chase you around the house yelling "come here Professor mc fluffy pants the third, i will have your little doggie soul as miown! get me a beer professor mc fluffy pants the third!".)

recap; I am now the self proclaimed beer fairy of the southern half of a small part of houston!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

always that one guy, part deaux

Ok, who brought the fattie to my emo me only pantless party??

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Stop asking what I did today.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

because I am a brat. thats why

This cake tastes like crap

Friday, August 7, 2009

Adventures of Baby Otter; last night edition,

So last night, I stayed up past my bed time looking at pictures like this;
Why? you ask? because that is what i THE otter.

anyway, (i am at my parents) and I am a little freaked out....because the example above may be lurking. So i SPRINT upstairs.
In the process tripping over the dog, thinking it was cat lady, screaming like an emo front man singer, and waking up both my parents (who already think I am nuts)
I slept well last night....


I mean...does anyone read this?? whyyyyyyyyy???
I am kidding,....i really dont care.....
Carry on baby otter

Thursday, August 6, 2009

..bacon is better then love......

Bacon does not slap your butt, and call you zebra tits.

It has no hands.

good to know.....yep....good to ...know.....

How long could you survive after punching a bear in the balls?

Created by The Oatmeal


So, this is the scrolling ad I got after a google search for The Kent State shooting....I don't know about you anymore Amazon......
Low Prices on Kent state shooting Free Shipping on Qualified Orders!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Another installment of "last night" babeah otter style...

Hello! Me again!!Last NIght was WONDERFUL! Let me RECAP!

Ring ring!!!!!!!!!(phone)

Baby otter:MMMM chello?
Him: Hey! COme meet my friends! They really want to meet you! they said They LOVE your art!
Baby otter:SQUEEE!!!

SO: I show up..............
HIS FRIENDS: (IN unison) "who are you? You need To get your art on track, WHAT intentions do you have with (insert douche name here) ?Are Those Shoes STRIPPER shoes?? Because they look like stripper shoes..........
In Conclusion....I have a picture to document the whole scene......I dont know, someone was hiding in the planter with a camera or something.

(well, guess they got me there) .......see ya!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Why are thease people still alive? Darwin! FOR SHAME!

My part for soicety part deaux: Weddings, please don't...

Wear hats, hats are sooooo last season, Pleeease
Try to take your brides booze away from her, she needs it......prob.because she is marrying you.
Be fat and wear blue
Be Asian

Saturday, August 1, 2009

my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night