Thursday, December 24, 2009

i was cool before cool was cool

Ahh....christmas.....
Nice time, to relax with family.
.......
give gifts.......

perfect time to give back to the community



Or in my case, get so drunk you cant feel your face.


Merry christmas kids....
baby otter out

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

This is your sex life next year, reasons as follows;

A: You think he is an ironic hipster, only to find out after "the deed" he really thinks he is a clown.


B. you get so drunk one night when you go out, you just start following things that sparkle.
s
C. Date rape

D. No reason behind this one...you are just a skank.






Reason #34342304234 not to have kids





they are too short

Thursday, December 17, 2009

o christmas bush o christmas bush

JR)DADDDDDY!! I WANT A TREEEEEEEE!!!!DADDY....DADDDYYYYYYYYYYY DADDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mom: (in a wisconsin accent)For Gods sake Herb, just get a dam tree..anything to shut him up. my glands are ...blah blah something something.

dad) what? I cant hea.....

JR. DADDY IF YOU DONT GET ME THIS TREE I WILL POOP! i WILL POOP RIGHT HERE, ON THE STAIR. THEN I WILL POOP ON MR. FLUFFYWINKERS. THEN I WILL POOP ON YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

GET ME A TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

mom)Herb! O my dear God....herb...oh crap, now...o jeeze....the cat is eating it.....*lurch* *gag*

Dad) but it is christmas eve! where the hell am i going to find a freaken tree!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009



I KNOW I KNOW..IT IS ALL IN MY HEAD...BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE MY MOM LIKES MY BROTHER MORE THEN ME......




IT'S LIKE SOMEONE SET OFF THE DATE RAPE BOMB

Monday, December 7, 2009

sketchy santas

Just when I was about to give up on the internet....A light of sun in the form of creepy santas...fluttered down on my desk.

I give you .. http://sketchysantas.com/





Thought 'o' Day

You know, I was just thinking...
Say...meh...its your birthday and you guys go to dinner.
....bottle of wine $75/$150
dinner $75 per person
drinks $50 per person

So at the end of the night...it's like $170 per person.

My thought is, when you crap the next day, you are basically crapping out $170 bucks.






Sunday, December 6, 2009

Last night , the UK edition

So....I meet this guy...oooo about a year ago...
Trying to make out with my boyfriend...who now wears more makeup then me.....but that is another post all together


Somewhere between the shot of "liquid ass dumpling" and the pint of Stella, I decided to meh....go out with him
.........I mean...he is british.........and the british are fun! right? yep.....fun.....and by the picture pictured below, forgiving.....
LOOK at the cat. look at the cat! HA! .....i love that picture



Anyway.... conclusion, the british are not as "fun" as depicted, in such films as "European Vacation"
So here is a picture of a peep taking a crap .


Thursday, December 3, 2009